Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Panties = found
Randomize
