We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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