Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
