so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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