I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
