I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
