White coat. Heels.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
