So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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