How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
