Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
