return my video game
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
