i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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