I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I cockslap morals
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
