It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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