I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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