Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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