I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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