biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
