I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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