Don't you send me to vm
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
