i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
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