Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
