She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
