No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
