I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
