I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
