OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
