Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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