Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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