He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
