You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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