so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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