Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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