elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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