google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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