Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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