Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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