Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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