he puts the penis in happiness.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
