He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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