peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
