My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It's Friday. Sex?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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