Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
