maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
