Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
