You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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