Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
