Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
