I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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