Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
