Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Text me some of your sweat
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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