So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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