it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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