If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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